Gather round, friends, we must keep our voices low.
There's trouble a'brewing on the net, you know.
A monster's about, who lurks without fear
And eats up the e-mail that dares to draw near!
It has been suggested that the email goes to the "Land of Missing Socks", which is a third dimension inside your dryer, just north of the spin cycle. An observer in Kentucky indictes that the creature is a "him" because it is a "mail" monster. This same observer notes that he is suspected to be part of the "MonstreWeb species."
One observer indicates that email might be "LOST IN cyberSPACE"...(Mechanical arms waving wildly, "Danger, danger. Warning Will Robinson!").... What will happen when all those lost messages collide in cyber space? Maybe we'll have a cyber "big bang"?
Another observer notes: "No. No! WebMonster is evil clone of Cookie-Monster. Cookie-Monster liiiike cookie, cake, pie, chips, internet, CC Lists, and good fiiight in good clean fun. But WebMonster clone sold his soul to Bill Gates when Bill promised him free reign on the web as long as he switched from NetScape to Internet Explorer 4.0 Beta! WebMonster, baaaad addict that he is, was hooked and is wreaking havoc on AOL, any site "best viewed with NetScape," and sites with continually refreshing maddenning ads. Please pra-a-a-y for my evil brother. He keeps seeing the clouds on the WIN95 boot logo and is sure that he is on an electronic jihad, and that he will go to MicroSoft heaven when him die!!!"
The author of this page wonders... Nettie MonstreWeb... We must find him! Such a treasure!
We must organize! Obtain grants! Protect his environment! Has any expedition begun to set up web-cams to see if it is possible to obtain a good look at this creature? Perhaps it is a pre-Internet WEBASAUR? It's effects we all know: It eats email (and at times also takes chunks out of email servers) and spits out
FILE NOT FOUND! ERROR 404 !
IT IS KNOWN THAT THE ONLY PROTECTION appears to be a hearty sense of humor so
that authors of email do not dissolve into electron soup (also rumoured to be highly relished by the creature!).
And then there's SPAM... which we will have to allow to cook longer, I guess!
It is imperative that close observation of this situation be maintained!
Please REPORT further sightings. OR tell us which is Nettie!
The most significant findings will be added to this page. Thank you!
REPORT HERE: USE the SUBJECT "WEB MONSTER"
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